Saturday, August 09, 2008

nagging

I grew up in an enviroment where people nag each other. I said when i grew up i will not follow such path but I'm wrong. How you brought up in this world plays a big part of who you are. I still hate nagging but I do it. And I sure want to stop that way Kali won't have such example.

But it is hard not to nag when your partner in life is such a pain in the butt. He hates certain things and tells me what is it but can he even ask himself what are the stuff that he does wrong too???

My husband and I are 3 years apart. I am older. It means that a big part of me adjust to everything. If you want to make your marriage work, you compromise but sometimes the one who's older tend to do more compromise and understanding than the younger ones. And most of the time i just say, SUCK IT UP, you choose this life!

I know i am and will never be the easiest person to deal with. I have hurt so many people in my life and most of it are the ones I know wont leave myside no matter what. But sometimes we had to hurt them to be able to let them know we're now grown up and we have our own life to deal w/ and they as a guidance to us can't decide on our own but I guess everybody have a problems w/ letting go.

Having a great support system helps too! It sure feels great when you have good people around you but sometimes you pretend everything is perfect.

My life is beyond perfect but I choose this. Sometimes I'm in the verge of breaking down and say F*ck off! but I have to stop for a moment and look at my angel face daughter and says, LIFE will be good for you my princess...

anyways, i'm out... :)

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

when u realize u are alone

When you realize you are alone, it feels like a knife had stab you in your heart and then you stop and stare at the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in your entire life, your child.

I have Kali, i know that for sure. And I need to feel brave and strong even when I feel like i'm tired and hurting.

The irony of it all, i don't even know where to begin. i'm not materialistic, yes i admit i like nice stuff but I know when I can/can't buy.