Thursday, July 17, 2008

just venting out

I guess i am really a bad person. Drama happens even when you don't even know you cause it. I hate drama.

It makes u wonder when you marry someone on how you should handle your life and what will your life become? I am happy, I love my husband and my baby but i just can't seem to please everybody in this lifetime.

When we marry and have kids, isn't it suppose to be your priority is your hubby and kid 1st before anything else? I get confuse coz i often gets to be in the middle that sometimes i know i jeopardize my relationship. I know its stupid but when you know my sit. you'll understand where i'm coming from.

I am really stressed out over some things that i didnt do but apparently hurt someone dear to me. I choose to ignore the problem and go on w/ my life because I ask myself on what i did wrong and i can't come up w/ a single reason.

Maybe choosing not to ask question that i know would cause more drama was wrong and it created more problems to a point of saying that "lets just not see each other coz you keep on hurting me".

I choose not to ask because i know it would put me in the middle of something that i don't want to be on. I said something when i know someone in the crowd is associated on someone who "majority" they were saying. I shouldn't have said racist,instead i should have said stereotype but i think it will leave her getting hurt and still i am wronged!

I am tired, hubby said to apologize but not to cry. I'm a cry baby. I have been apologizing in my entire existence because they know they can hurt me when they want to. So how can i apologize w/o crying and knowing for a fact that i did nothing wrong.

My dad drives faster than my hubby and yet i hear no complain. HA! why is it that when it comes to hubby, the blood just boils!? i don't understand that. I'm married. I am for 3 and half years now. I know i hurt them when i got married w/o them to witness it but its a long time ago and i think we should just get over that and go on w/ our lives and not bring it back all the time.

I need to be accepted as a married person. I respect you and you know that but i am an easy target to blame and stress on yet i don't think that's fair for me. I'm tired. If my relationship falls apart know that one way or the other, this drama is PART OF THE REASON why!

Its funny, i didn't even do anything yet I get to suffer.... It would have been a great vacay but too much drama!thank god i have Kali...