long rant

have you ever got so pissed w/ the situation that you know you can be a big help if you say your opinion and just got "shut up! and dont tell me what to do coz i've decided and we did the same thing to you on your time"???? i got that today... wtf?! i'm setting this up not to be read by anyone related to me. I got really hurt today, i mean i was just telling my opinion and what i know and hello! i just got back from pi and i saw the situation there so i feel that my opinion mattered.
here's the story, my dad recently sold my sisters car coz it eats up the gas too much and since my sister is so maarte, she's been using my car since i left pi. I didnt really care though i wish it was really taken cared of coz hey! on my time i really value what was given to me and i didnt just crash it or anything like that.
anyway, so he sold her car since its not being used anymore. now we got the van (too big for her and only used on long distance drive), multicab (i dont know if everyone knows what kind of wheels this is but this is small and used for catering and is currently broken w/ i dont know reason), lancer (its broken too, w/ i dunno reason why), and a bike.
when i took my review for the board exam, i brought my car w/ me in cebu. not because i wanted to but because it was part of the bribery that my dad make for me. I mean i wanted to review in manila but he didnt want me too so instead he bribe me (like he did when i was studying in college, was suppose to study in cebu/manila instead i got bribe to study in gensan in return i get a car) that i can live in an apartment (that he want) and i can have my car w/ me...so i thought of it then, what a convinience right?! so i choose that instead of the arrangement of what i really wanted coz i know i'm gonna end up loosing anyways.
so now back to the story, my sister was saying that the apartment in davao is too expensive and my parents asked how much, she said P3T (not aircon) so my parents went "WHAT?!" thats it?! my dad started saying hey i paid P8T (studio w/ aircon/ref/own bathroom) a month for 5 months plus gas allowance and etc for anna and she's complaining for 3T?!... okay, my sister is trying to be goody good on their image. but hey! it was his choice right? i didnt mind leaving in a dorm if i had it my way you know...so my dad told my sister that too look for an apartment that could make her and my cousin comfortable and whatever is the cost since they'll be staying there for 3weeks only, he will pay but its my cousin who should bring his car not her coz my dad is coming back from the states and he doesnt have reliable car in his hands if my sister brings my car.
so thats when the discussion started. My sister started saying that they might as well not bring a car if thats the case coz my cousins car is not reliable. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD...he just drove it to davao when i was in gensan and you tell me its not reliable enough?!! so from there i told them my opinion and about my cousin driving his car to davao w/o any problem and so on. then i ask so what now? is she bring the car to davao then? and there it was... YES she is... so i said well, your problem is you always have to follow what she want and never lay down your cards. then my dad told me to "shut up! and dont tell me what to do coz i've decided and we did the same thing to you on your time." You are complaining to me and you tell me this?!it got me actually, i mean it was a stab straight to my heart, i wanted to say something back but i decided not to.
my lola who currently lives w/ us who's on my nerves recently coz she's been really bitchy since she got here says something when we were in the discussion "thats what you get! da!" i wanted so much to say something. I swear there are things ive known that i'm keeping to myself that i wanna say stuff but then i again i thought, i should shut up.
i dont wanna compare myself to my sister and say i'm better coz there are things that ive done that i know hurt my parents but i just cant help wonder why. I know she's smarter than me. I find myself dumb actually but why is it that when it was me before, i have fear to do this and that coz i know my parents would get mad. or i have to tell my friends and classmate this and that so that my family can have their privacy but my sister doesnt.
i cant say that the civil engineering was an easy major you know. But why is it that i can make time for other things as well. When i went home, my lil brother told me, its different around here since you left, things are falling apart and no one cares. I asked him why, he said its like there's no girls living in this house anymore. My yaya (servant) says the same thing... sad...
I have a feeling that the reason that my parents are so afraid of my sister is that they feel she's the only one who can help them. There are things in life that i did w/o thinking but hey, in my heart i know that it was the right thing.
sorry guys this is long, its just that i'm really sad and i have to let it out. thanks for reading this...