When do u let go?

I have asked myself this a thousand times but i cannot seem to have any answer over it. Maybe because you are scared, maybe because you think you are a coward and maybe just maybe you just can't. Whatever it is - it is one of the most difficult thing to do.

You hear people having incurable disease and are thankful it is not you but it makes you wonder if people would love you more when you have one. You see i have 2 wonderful children that i love the most - i would die for them, they make my life more meaningful. I love my husband to death and i know my biggest mistake yet is not leaving some for myself.

But how can you do that? I have seen it with my parents, my mom leaving us to find herself because she has given everything yet she felt under appreciated. Thats what made me tougher over the years and she did came back - she loves her children beyond word can say & was able to fall in love again with my dad and sometimes i wanna kick myself because they were the example. I told myself not to let it happen but slowly i slipped in to the same situation. Sad but thats the truth.

They said that care a lil less, less and leave yourself some but if thats what it is then that couldnt be called LOVE. I guess with my 30 yrs in this world, i still know nothing but i have to say my children are my life. Without them i am nothing even with the stressfulness of life they send my way - i would not trade it for anything. And yes i have nothing to say my own in terms of material things but my children are my own. Whatever happens they are me and i am them and their happiness is my priority.