saying thank you

i've been sending out thank you card from the shower i got. I actually had 18 cards mailed already and those addy that i got late are the ones i'm working on at the moment. Anyways, I asked nik and SIL nikki if i have to send a card to this one particular couple that nik, nikki and nikko doesnt like. Just to be polite, i'll send one because they did give me a gift and they drove about 60mi just to be here. But they don't like this couple, they have a really good reason why actually and they actually don't understand why they were invited the my MIL in the first place. Like SIL nikki said, things in the PAST should remain in the PAST. to forgive doesn't mean you have to go out of your way and embrace them w/ open arms. 19 years something something is SOMETHING and well, they were affected too... I can't blame them...

now i got the addy i needed from my SIL that she asked from my MIL... the couple's addy is one of them so i had to make her call me and ask her if i'm really suppose to be sending those people a thank you card???? She didnt know that one of the names she got me was those couple, SO.... in order for me to not get in trouble. I am sending a THANK YOU CARD to that couple. I will say thank you for attending, thanks for the gifts. but that's pretty much it and I used Anna and Nik instead of Anna and Nikolai and no return addy... so i guess that's the right thing to do... I don't want to hurt Nik, Nikki and Nikko. and I don't want to disobey my MIL... so i'm in the middle of all these...tsk tsk

washing mode

Okay since my friend Ar gave birth 5 weeks early, it made me paranoid and started washing Kali's clothes, blanket, towels, beddings and etc. I have to put the bottles in the dishwasher soon too, well i just need to do the thorough cleaning since its the first cleaning but will be washing it again when i use it...

I have to really start packing my stuff for the hospital as well as Kali's stuff. I have to move to SD (inlaws) pretty soon too but the thought of leaving Nik here by himself makes me sad... I bet he'll be just sleeping and well, playing play station..hahaha

But who's gonna feed him? well right now, i'm not really doing a great job on that but hey, i'm pregnant and I get tired and bored from cooking these days. When i go to the cooking mode, i'd cook whatever... And lately, i've been eating fish! woohoo...

I have to cut donw my carbs actually and I really need to exercise... Man i'm really scared but excited. I wish kali would come out on the due date, but we'll see... On monday, i'll have the Lamaze class...hehe i'll be doing just 1 session and well, i'll let instinct do its job...

anyway, i have to finish ironing Kali's stuff...hehe arte ng baby na sobra!tsk tsk

all for kali now...

My birthday is coming up in 11 days and i'm really excited because prior to my birthday would be Kali's shower.... I cant wait to open the gifts i'm receiving. So far I have 4 downstairs that i so want to open but shouldn't coz i have to wait till the 29th.

I wanted a lot of things for my birthday but i'm making a priorities, I shouldn't ask for anything from my hubby and my parents because they've given me way too much for Kali.

SO bu asked me what i want. I wanted the SB800 flash for a long time now but its expensive so that's out of the list. Macbook?well, i know i cant have that unless we'll win some jockpot or something...hehe so i told him, i want the 50mm nikon nikkor lens, its only $119 in ritz camera but I'm thinking I really shouldn't be asking any gift this year, Maybe next year I can but this year, I've received so much from the people i love...

hayyy... its all for Kali now:)

lost in this world

i don't know where i am, i don't know where i'll be. I know this shall pass but it made me wonder, WHERE IN THE WORLD DO I WANT TO PLACE MYSELF AT??? I shouldn't be asking myself this, I should know where I stood but I don't. We call this crossroads but to be honest, i've been in this crossroads for so long.

in 12 weeks I'll meet my lil' girl. I should know and be certain where my life is heading before she comes out but Its hard. I've always been amaze w/ my dad's work that's why i followed him but now I'm hesistating. I should have taken nursing. I would have used it right away but we all know i never liked science.

Now i'm thinking of getting that course. For the sake of giving my family a better life. But will I be happy? Will i find myself? I don't know. Happiness is within. I'm happy but i'm hesitant to what I want in my life.

If only I know where I'm heading, i'd be sure that whatever I decide is right. But right now i cant afford to make mistake. I cant afford to be wrong. I should be a good example. I'm tired. I'm hella tired but Life must go one.

I used to know what i want. I used to know what my goal is but now its all UNCERTAIN... I just go w/ the flow. I just follow where the breeze sends me. I just hope wherever it goes, it will be the right thing to do...

our electric bill

its getting higher and higher since the summer started but not as bad as it was last year. Last year however our housemate didnt really care that it was the DAD paying for it but my ever so nice hubby cared so he told his parents after settling down here and having a job that he'd start paying for the bills... Well it was after summer so it wasn't that Bad.

Last year it was 3 months of bet. 200 - 300 dollars a month. August was the baddest that it reach almost $400. Tsk.. Nakakahiya pero yung mga tao dito walang HIYA!

This year it started w/ $90 for june $120 for july and $180 for august... Mind you Nik doesnt make a lot, dapat 1 week of his pay will just go sa utilities then the other 1 week for the credit card bills then the next 2 weeks are for groceries/gas and savings and well a lil dine out...

And suppose this "housemates" we have are to move out... THey've been here for 2 days for some military duty and the girl (i actually like her except the fact that di nagtatyaga sa heat!!!) and they haven't finish packing their stuff kaya di namin magawang maayos room nila! its the GUEST ROOM! they'll have their own place so they better not think its their room parin... so anyhow, THEY'VE BEEN TURNING ON THE AC IN THE MORNING!!!! ITS NOT FAIR KASI I MAKE TYAGA TILL NIK GETS HOME FROM WORK @4pm AND HAVE IT ON FOR AN HOUR OR 2 JUST TO COOL UP THE HOUSE PERO SILA NOOOOOOOOOOOO....

dammit! i really want to settle this AC issue, i swear its not being fair anymore... I am suffering from the heat to you know but am I complaining??? NOOOOO... i suck it up and deal w/ it... I just hope they stop coming to this house i swear!!!!

opinion PLEASE!!!

okay i made a registry at http://www.babiesrus.com since everyone except nik has been telling me to make one. Well, I finally did and I'm kinda uncomfortable because some stuff are just expensive. Not that i chose it to be expensive its just that I went for stuff w/ good reviews and something that is really important and safe. Safety is an issue and getting stuff that doesnt have a good review is a waste right??

so anyways, i did make one but i havent told anybody except well Nik since i showed him the stuff i posted and my SIL although she hasn't seen it yet... I'm hoping that I'll get all the stuff i posted para i dont have to buy that much anymore but ofcourse, WE ARE buying the crib, changing table and stroller. So that's not in the list... Too bad all my friends are so far away, so i really hope someone will get me those stuff!!!hahaha

so if you're me, will you make a registry? di ba nakakahiya???

dont u think its unfair?

2 people who lives w/ us here in the house are being a pain. They think that because this isn't their place, they can just do what they want. Heck! it annoys me when they see us clean, i mean thoroughly cleaning the place and yet they still mess it up. Like the kitchen, you see we spray it w/ disinfectant and yet they mess it up w/ sticky stuff and they just wipe it in a way that its sticky... doesn't that ever annoy you???

or they turn on the AC when we don't even though that coz we conserve energy and even if its hot, we just let the fan do its job instead of saying, Man its HOT and switch the AC on... I can do that if im insensitive but i dont since i pity Nik for he's the one paying for the electric. I barely even wash our clothes, i mean, I wash prolly 3x a month that way its a lot and i don't have to use too much heater on the dryer although i know it uses more of the electric than the gas in the first place and yah, we pay for the water too... Paying for the Gas and the Phone after over a year of living here isn't that bad right? I mean you werent even sensitive enough to think that the Dad is paying $300/mo for 3 months over summer because you were living high and mighthy w/ the AC on all the time because it was hot.

I can totally relate w/ how we feel in this place, its like Hell but then, i'm trying to be sensitive in not making my husband pay more than enough and besides he doesn't make that much. Fuck! this really frustrate me but like my husband says, money isn't worth fighting for but someday somehow a time will come that i will not keep my mouth shut and say what i wanna say. Fuck if i'm the bad person but hey! look into yourself and ask AM I BEING FAIR TO THIS PEOPLE????

i think she is!

i think my sister is bipolar! i talked to her OMG she's just so weird, its like 2 personality in one... Oh well, she's still my sister even if she hurt me a lot i still love her but well I don't think ill ever ask favors from her ever...

it hurts to hear your sis say....

i hurt so bad right now.... A person who is flesh and blood has said after my mom told her that when she's here she can help me out coz i'm about to give birth by that time and she just replied "AYOKO NGA, GAWIN NYA LANG AKONG YAYA" in a bitchy way. I hurt. I never do that to my siblings, never did. My brother was here for 7 weeks and never did i ever commanded him to do something for me, he hates it when i carry the laundry basket saying I shouldn't be carrying heavy stuff because its bad for the baby. I've been living here for 3.5 years now and I've been able to survive everything. A person, flesh and blood says that to your mom about you and your mom knowing you will find out told me before i get to hear it from someone else. It hurts... try to imagine how it feels but i'm not gonna mop around and live my life because of what she said. I have Nik, i have my mom and i have people who are more willing to help me in everyway they can even when they are so far away...

sorry mag mumura talaga ako eh!

magmumura ako dahil gusto ko at dahil naiinis ako sa ginagawa mo! tang-ina! wala ka na ba talagang pakialam sa family natin? ganyan nalang ba talaga tingin mo sa tatay mo porke nakapagtrabaho ka? sino ka sa akala mo? dahil ba nurse ka ganyan ka na mag asta? ang yang boyfriend mo PUTANG INA NYO! kahit kapatid kita, tangina ni minsan di ko ginawa yang pinagagagawa mo sa nanay at tatay natin. KUNG WALA KANG RESPETO! Umalis ka sa bahay at wag ka nang mag hanap ng pamilya dahil kung ayaw mo sa amin, pwes ayaw ka din namin. Akala mo kung sino ka talaga, kung ikaw mabubuntis! tang-ina ang TANGA MO! letche ka! ginagawa mo kaming tanga lahat, kapag nagkasakit si dad ikaw lahat sisisihin namin hangang sa di mo kayanin...mark my word mark my word! fuck you!

lalala

5 days to go till i get to hug and see my lil bro! i'll surely give me a big kiss on his cheeks eventhough he's 18 now. i just miss him and he'll always be my baby... 10 days to go till i will hear some news over something. I'm excited. I wanna write everything there is that i can write but for now i'll wait till the 8th of April will pass and the 13th of April will come. so...... lalalalala is all i can say for now:) and definitely there'll be pictures of this events:)

will be updating after friday the 13th..

since my lil bro is coming over on the 8th! yey i can't wait... and there's some stuff that i will find out on the 13th... i guess i'll be updating till then... i'll be writing whatever stuff i can think of between today till the 13th...so till then...:)

its just a croissant..

i just want a supreme croissant of jack in the box for over 10 days now and still i haven't got any at all. Its only $1.99 +tax and its just right across where he works and he cant even buy me one. i'm really hurt.

i need ur opinion!

is it okay to be friends w/ the EX?

would you let you bf talk to his ex?

i need your opinion on this...

wers the respect?

a question? you know something but you keep it to yourself that way it wont become a big deal. now you know she doesn't respect anyone, what would you do?

*&^%$# if it's bamba, ill kick her ass for sneaking in her bf. i dont give a damn if you think you're adult but in your parents house, you don't do such thing! too bad i'm insomiac that i know and hear lots of stuff!

my baby is such a sweetheart!

we dont really celebrate the v-day since i'm one of those people who think this day is korny. Why not do whatever it is you do on a v-day on any day right? anyways, my buboo is such a sweetheart, he had to take sa test this morning that he left early. he got home 2 hours later we a rose and a heart shape balloon and my breakfast (jack in a box supreme croissant!-been eating this a lot lately..hehe my latest addiction) and a nesquik chocolate drink! i was too sleepy that i just gave him a kiss and snuggle on his arms and went back to sleep. then we woke up at 11:45am and he made lunch! bbq rib eye steak! yummy... hehe my day was mainly spent here at the house wearing my pjs! since hubby had to work at 2, i had some cleaning to do...and i've been lazy to cook since there's still left overs then i got a call from hubby telling me to check what time does our fave jap. resto closes coz i dont have to cook, we'll just buy food... hayyy...today was my day of being pampered... thanks to my buboo:)

3 years ago::: Feb. 14, 2004 was the day that me and nik had our first conversation at some baby shower party in Lincoln St. in Alameda and he asked me if i wanna play billiards, i turned him down since i'm not really good at playing pool. funny! we never thought we'll end up being married.

level 10

ok my stress level is going higher again...NOT GOOD! i hate it when i'm stress already and then other people would make me more stress... as much as i try to breathe in & out and say grusfraba (is that right karen?) i just cant hold it and i snap.... today was something. On our way back home from walmart (we had to buy blank dvd's for the dvd cam) there's this dude in a green ranger pick up trying to drift or something like that. that he actually turned 180 deg (facing the traffic) in the intersection. And it was raining so the roads are slippery... situations like this, i freak out (for one i've experience turn-turtle accident and almost falling from the ridge from the past 6 years??) but i try to remain calm by being quiet. I was gasping the dvd's when it all happen in front of me actually. Goodthing that person didnt cause any accident. Then we had to enter the freeway on our right to pick up my sister-in-law's friend who's coming w/ us to the airport. as hubby made a right turn, well, he was kinda fast and it was slipper (from the rain and some sand) the car was kinda screeching on the road. my impulse made me shout SLOW DOWN at the same hit my hubby in the head w/ whatever it was i was holding in my hand. IT WAS AN IMPULSE! it wasn't meant to happen. i know it hurt and he was hella mad and to think this all happen w/ my sister-in-law as a witness. I was so quiet on the way home, i was scared at hubby coz i know it was my fault in hitting him but hey! i wouldn't have hit him if he didnt do what he did right? and it was an IMPULSE action. i hate it when he plays around my stress level. I cant controll my stress any longer and its not good. By the time we got home, i was getting my stuff to go out of the car he stopped me then gave me a hug and a kiss and i said sorry coz i know it's my fault and i'm not suppose to hit anyone but i cant help it.... and i was still numb!

w/ my stress going up and down, i'm actually feeling my chest feeling heavy everyday. My uncle had a quadrople (i have a feeling i spelled it wrong) bypass 10 months ago because of stress... and my grandpa had a multiply bypass coz of diabetis. IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY!!! now here i am 25 years old, no health insurance feels heavyness on my chest coz of stress when I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO BE STRESSING.... dammit. I don't want to stress anymore, LIFE is too short and i wanna enjoy it. and i wanna experience being a mom. haaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy

no parent-in-laws for 3 weeks...

yes my parent-in-laws are on their way to PI... papa haven't been home for 9 years while mama for 13 years. I'm sure they'll be amaze at how philippines had change in a decade. They went home for papa's homecoming batch '77 in PMA. As what i've heard, its a biggy and most of his batchmates that are still in the service are all generals. If he didnt decide to join his family here in US 9 years ago, he'd be a General in the Philippine Airforce by now but well, its for the best. So for the next 3 weeks, we'll mainly spend my hubby's day off in San Diego to watch over his 19 years old sister... and well, i guess there'll be some house party that's gonna take place over there sometime in this next 3 weeks.

LAX is still a crazy airport... I still love San Francisco... Hayyyy...

other news: BAD TRIP! bakit ba ang guys masyadong manhid??? i swear! obvious na syado na ginagamit yung bestfriend nya to get hold of him to tell him the news "I'M GETTING A DIVORCE" wtf..... eh alam na nung girl kung tatawag cya di sinasagot tawag nya, gagamitin ba naman yung bestfriend to get hold of him? OMG..syadong obvious, eh namang mga lalake, syado manhid.... hmmm.....

its okay to be friends w/ the ex but hello! tantanan nyo na kung may sariling buhay na at masaya na sa ibang tao. i have 2 other ex's in my life, 1 of them is a total stranger while the other is we're okay. but i don't talk/text/chat or anything to them as a respect to the guy i'm going out w/. ewan ko ba.

guys are so..... EWAN!

grrr..... i swear i just wanna hit nik on his head. he's tired, i know that! but he should know that i'm bored the hell out of myself here in the house doing nothing but stare at the corners and he cant even give me a fraction of his time coz he want to sleep???????? i've been sleeping late for the past week. LATE means i've been sleeping at 5:30am already and i have no idea why. i'm tired but i dont want to take sleep aid, i'll do this on my own. i'm just mad and hurt for some reason. and I asked him this, what would be his ideal date? sinagot ba naman ako na i don't think of that coz i'm married. that's for people that are dating. dammit! sarap sapakin eh.

its your birthday...

ALLEN............. happy birthday.... i wish that you the happiness all life has to offer. May God continue to bless you and your family always. I love you gwaps!miss you and yngat, enjoy your day aitte?! mwah! talk to you soon!