I'm 26 weeks!

time flies so fast that i cant believe that i'm almost done w/ my 2nd trimester. I'll be 6 months pregnant next monday, having 13 weeks to go and will enter the 3rd trimester... Wow in 13 weeks i'll have a new baby in my arms... I don't know how kali will take it, i just hope everything will be fine.

I still have lots of things that i need to buy particularly baby's clothes. I am having a boy so most clothes of kali cant be worn by baby #2...Hehe I have a name on my head but still havent decided if whether or not i'm naming him that or what...

Hayyy having a baby is expensive, i'm pretty sure this would be the last. After this i'm having it cut out... If i'm just as healthy and normal like everyone else i wouldn't have to worry about this but i'm not and i know that so I'm taking actions...

I'm planning on putting Kali on the crib after New Years, but im doubtful if she'll sleep there...we'll see... Anyways, its late so gotta go!

i had fun this xmas BUT...

it was lame coz people went to sleep early like 7ish or 8ish?! What a way to celebrate christmas... That's why no matter what, no one can beat xmas in gensan!!!! I miss it... next year, wait for me!!!!

Happy birthday baby jesus!!!!

Belated Merry Xmas everyone!

venting again

I am so pissed at a certain someone right now! I don't care if i don't even talk to him ever in my life besides, I never ask him any favors, he's the one who always ask favors or even ask for pabili! F*ck it... Grrr... and the nerve of hanging up the phone on me! I swear... A kid who's 10 years younger than him even knows what manners is... Grrrrr....

He never do good anyways, he does and its just an act for asking something... HA! 29 years old and yet he doesn't know responsibility... what an ass!

blogging late

I wonder why i always blog late, maybe because this is the only time i have for myself and its quiet...anyways, tomorrows THE DAY... I've been looking forward to this for a long time and my golly, thanks to my hubby for making it possible... I love you bu!

I'm still sick, colds are almost gone but i have an annoying cough, throat is uber itchy and i just pee whenever I cough w/c is really annoying... ANyways, i have to get Kali's stuff ready so we can leave early later so ttfn!!!

4 years married!

We just had our 4th year anniversary yesterday. Though we didnt really do anything special, we attend our friends wedding in San Diego... It was fun but i was starting to get sick so i wasn't really feeling well... OMG! my dress was so short, thank god it was cold, i had to wear my coat the whole time!haha And well, we left Kali w/ my inlaws but we miss her terribly. I guess that's how it is when you have kids, you have fun yet your mind will still be left if they are ok or what...

She was cranky around 8ish according to my SIL and kept saying MAMA and pointing upstairs, she thought i was upstairs being lazy and leaving her to my inlaws...Haha poor kali... I love that munchkin to death i swear...

Anyways, i'm sharing a pic of me and hubby w/ the bride and groom....

its late gotta hit my sack! ttfn!:)

my lil one is 1 now!

And so my baby turned one over the weekend... Hayyy they grow up so fast... I kinda miss the lil one you can carry around w/o worrying about the food you feed them, now however i have hard time feeding this lil munchkin who happens to be uber hyper most of the time...

It almost 230am and i'm up and awake. Why?! coz i had to wash her bottles, HA! motherhood... I've done this a lot of time already so its so not new to me but how i wish i don't have to worry about her bottles...

Which makes me bitter about parents having yaya back in pi... haha how spoiled they are... I was told i don't really need to sterilize her bottles but just to make sure, i do it every night... And now that i change her milk to Next Step, i'm hoping this lil one will grow more....

In 4 months I will have another lil one coming up. It won't be easy handling 2 infants. yes my lil munchkin is still consider infant by then. And well, she'll always be a baby to me too. And i promise myself that just because she and her bro are so close by age, i will make sure that she is still a baby and i'd make both of them my priority...

Anyways, i really need to hit my sack again... so ttfn

problems

sometimes when you have a problem, its better to just keep to yourself than saying it out loud to people that way no one expect more of you. Though most of the time it makes you feel better when you get to share it to friends...

I don't know myself anymore, i'm lost. :(

feeling ugly... just thinking

I've been looking at my old pictures and i cant believe i look like that then. Now i look so plain. I don't even have the urge to fix myself. I brush my hair, put a clip and then tie it in the back... I was never maarte in my life, but since giving birth. I don't even think of myself anymore.

The moment i wake up, i'd be wearing pj's by the end of the day, i'm still wearing pj's.... I'm thinking of going out more but w/ a baby to tag along all the time (well i cant leave her alone at the house)and the gas prices up (good thing its under 2.50 now) i feel that staying at home is better than goin to places...

I miss my old self. I got so much compliment when i went home 2 and half years ago. I never felt so good when i finally felt that i'm being appreciated.... Not that looks matters but hey it does boost out your confidence right?!

I look at my closet, i have tons of clothes but those doesnt even fit me anymore. Those are my pre-baby clothes and though they all look new to me, still even if i try it wont fit me no more... So I'd wait till i'd pop out this second one and hopefully go back to my pre-baby body...

I need new pants and jeans but i'm the kind of person who's practical. I dont want to buy any because i know i wont wear it afterwards but my jeans are basically tight on me and the one and only maternity jeans i have kinda looks funny to me now... And to think this would be my last pregnancy, yes I'm going to get ligation afterward since I don't think my body can handle more than 2 pregnancy or let alone watch 2 babies grows up...

Anyways, the bottom line, i'm feeling ugly. I look haggard. I need rest, i want to eat a lot of food that i cant find here and the whole point to this is that I wanna go home to Gensan even for a month but I cant.

Not just fare wise but other people's experience can make people be negative on things so as long as i'm pregnant. And since i havent done my oath taking yet so no new passport, I cant go home... Next year is just a year away but heck its too long, i'm afraid i'd look 10 years older by then... No i'm not vain but i'm just stating facts here... So hopefully i'll find peace with myself and start caring about how i look like.... Maybe that will happen on of these days...

Elections Over, Thank God!

no more bickering from each parties!

So now that Obama won [Congrats Sen. Obama & Sen. Biden], we'll see where he leads this country... Will he able to save us from this recession or are we going there?! Lets hope and pray he'll do great, besides the guy deserve this.... He has a lot to prove a lot so where do this CHANGE leads us?!

Congrats to Sen. McCain, that speech was great!!!! that's how all losers should be, and whats up w/ the crowd in Phoenix?!

i'm no expert on politics, besides I hate it but this election was historical. First African-American President eh?! tsk tsk lets just hope it wont create chaos, besides there are still racist in this country...

stressful Life

i am 27 and i should not be getting stress but I am so stress that i might blow into pieces. I swear i hate drama but people seems to love drama but heck I HATE it... and i just cant break down because i have a lil gril w/ me... Damn this life.

Happy Halloween!

Today is my baby's first halloween. We're gonna go out there and do trick or treat for the first time. I'm so excited and I hope my lil princess will enjoy this. Next year there'll be two babies in the house, I plan to go to the Philippines right after halloween for our wedding preparation but I want my lil boy to experience his first halloween here too just like his ate.

I've started listening to xmas songs right when BER started, Hey! i'm from pi and they celebrate xmas that long over there so I dont care what the neighbor says besides they rarely sees us out anyway. Its either we're inside the house or we're out somewhere riding a car...

I still want to go home for New Years but since I just passed my citizenship test, I don't know when I'll have my oath taking to be able to get my passport. NO passport, No chance of going home right?! Oh well... There's always next year but I sorry the desire is still in my heart...

My lil girl have 6 teeth now, im so proud of her! I just want to keep hugging her but she's wiggly and she just want to be left walking around the room w/c is kinda hard for me coz i have to follow her to the bathroom most of the time, she likes that place for some reason...

The baby is growing up so fast but she loves mommy so much, she'll look for me all the time and it just makes me feel so proud that eventhough i am having a hard time raising her (because she's malikot) i'm proud that almost from the moment she was born it was me who watched, fed and bathe her... Except for those times when my inlaws and mom are here to watch her for me but she sleeps with me at the end of the day and just having a lil baby go to your side and look for your heat makes your heart grow big... I love you princess!!!

i wanna go home

i so wanna go home but i cant afford it, its too damn expensive and its breaking my heart because my desire to go home is so big yet i cant go home because it will be selfish of me to insist when we dont have moolah!

venting on why i cant go home

I wanted to go this year after christmas and before the new years. I don't know why but my urge to go home is something i cant deny. Its hard I swear but i don't want to be selfish... For the first time too that i only thought of me and Kali. When i used to always say that if i go home, Nik will have to come to me... I don't know whats going on. Maybe I need a break. A breather from being a mom and pregnant at the same time. Ofcourse its not going to be like the way it ways 2 years ago that I can do whatever i want, this time, i'm pregnant. But hey! all i wanted to do is rest for atleast 3 weeks and eat all the food i've been missing. maybe then i'll gain weight since i have problems on gaining weight on this pregnancy...

But we are talking about a $2500 fare here. I don't want Nik to worry about having too much debt, i swear the less we owe the better and the more we save besides we will have our wedding next year but i don't know. I just really want to go home...

Reality sucks... We can never have it all and I love my husband to burden him on this so i'll just vent out here and hopefully forget about this idea and move on... Besides my hubby got a really nice present for xmas and i just cant wait to open it though for now i'll vent...

Ever thought of Lap-Band Surgery??

I have friend who are obese. Its sad how low their self esteem are and the thought of them finding a partner in life makes them more depress because at their situation, they think that being fat and not just fat fat but obese is something you cant deny nor hide.

Its common in America to find people that are obese. With chocolates and other unhealthy food around that is affordable, people have easy way of getting them but they never consider the fact that if you have unhealthy lifestyle eating this unhealthy food makes a big impact in your life.

This is where lapband houston comes in. I know i know we shouldn't do it the easy way and just exercise and do some diet but if your health is at risk because you are obese, actions such as Lap-Band Surgery will help you save your life.

The fact that this is an outpatient procedure, you can go home and rest in your own bed and recovery with 4-5 days then voila! you can go back to your work or your normal activities by then.

So if you have friends who are considering this Lap-Band Surgery procedure, tell them to consider looking up lapband houston with 30 years of surgical experience with a highly-praised after care team program approach for patients following their surgery, what else would you ask for?

i wish

i have one wish this year and that is to be able to go home before New Years. I dont plan to go home this christmas because I want Kali to celebrate xmas here in US but I wanna have our new year back home but the fares are expensive. I dont want to add more on what we owe because of this but really I wanna go home... I know i cant have this but hey its my wish right... Maybe santa will give me this after all... who knows... i wish!

HA! $2500 to go home?!

I was checking online the prices for plane fare earlier... Man its expensive! Just for me and Kali to be able to go home after xmas and before new years to Gensan would cost us almost $2500.00 so if Nik will come it'd be $4000... Are you kidding me?! Yes i know i wanna go home but for that price, i aint pushing it because for one we cant afford it (the honest truth) and 2nd we need to save for the wedding next year and with another baby coming in the way, we really need to save... Now however, if I win the lottery, that's a different story!!! Haha I wish!!!!

Oh well, we can never have it all right but hey! i'm thankful that my family is healthy (not that i'm healthy... but i'm not complaining)...

So yah, just sharing my thoughts

im tired

doing the same routine everyday is tiring. I'm bored out of my wits. I'm tired w/ everything.... I need a breather but my life right now isn't all about me anymore. I have to think of my baby and the lil angel growing inside me before anything else. I hurt. I'm tired. I don't know what to do anymore....

Its tough when people don't understand what you're going through! I never want this thalassemia. I didnt choose to have this but I have it and I have to live my life w/ it forever, i just wish they understand that even when I try to be normal like everyone else. My life will never be that normal...

I hurt inside, they just don't know... One day I have a feeling i'll just colapse from all of this. Things are things, even when they are expensive but my body can never be okay even with that... I just need to be understood. I just need someone to help me through this. I just need someone who is there...

beauty sleep

I just woke up, i have a lot of bottles to clean and I need to change into my pj's. Not that i'm not on it right now, Kali happens to splatter some carrots on me earlier that's why i need to change.

I like sleeping early and like they said, sleep when the baby sleeps. I try too but its just hard when you do everything yourself.... That's why i try to do things i need to do in the afternoon when hubby gets off from work so i could sleep early but today was a lazy day...

Gosh, heat wave is coming up again... I've been loving the weather for the past 2 days and now I have to deal w/ the 90's temp again! I guess i can't let Kali use her overalls yet (though i've been doing that for the past 2 days - she looks so damn cute on it!)...

I can't really wait for winter time to come. I hate having to deal w/ the heat if you ask me, that's why frisco's weather is just the best but i've heard from my friend that its been hot there too but hey! they barely feel the heat if you ask me. That's what i love about frisco. You can count the number of days it gets hot over there than over here... Oh well, we live in sunny california!

I should be sleeping again... Well, i'm gonna go start cleaning the bottles now.... I got over 2 hours of sleep already so I'll hit the bed after (hoping KALI wont wake up)... Hayyyy this is beauty sleep!:) Anyways, ttfn!:) NYT!

The Body Shop

Two years ago my mother-in-law got into an accident. The moment we heard the news we were all in shock. At first thing came to our mind is that is mama okay and then the next, did someone get hurt... Good thing it only involve her car and a slippery freeway and no one was injured except for her car. It was a big one that we thought it couldn't be repaired. Thank God for the AUTO BODY SHOP they were able to repair the damage in my mother-in-laws SUV and it runs like the way it did prior to the accident. With affordable rates & friendly people who helps you access the damage and gives you advices, you'd never ask for anything more. They take care of you...


Accidents hurts, it hurts people and it hurts your pocket but with downey body shop you know you are being taken care of. I know where i'll go when i need any bodyworks on my car, our experience with downey body shop were excellent that I can recommend to my friends and family their work of art!

turning 27

OMG, i can't believe i'm 27! It seems that time had past by so fast that i just woke up and realize i'm 27. Nothing had change except that at 27 i'm a mom. Though career wise i havent really accomplish anything, i'd say i'm pretty proud of myself being a hands on mom... Next year, well it would be different. I'll have 2 kids, haha i wonder how i'll do by then.

I'd be lying if i tell you that i'm not struggling here. I am. Its hard being a mom to a 10 month old baby, a wife (to a [thankfully] not demanding husband!) and pregnant at the same time... I know i know you'd say i'm a fool getting myself in this situation because to be honest, i have asked myself how in the world did it happen when we were using protection but i guess when its God's will, its happens so i'm just thankful for the blessing. What a wonderful bday gift indeed...

Physically i'd tell you that i'm really tired. I just reach my 13th-week today and i have 27 (what a coincidence!) more weeks to go before i'd meet this lil' angel in me and I'm just excited. I do hope my body cooperates because right now, i feel like crap. I have this headache thats been going on for the past 3 days now and well I feel so stress...

I didnt really ask any gift from Nik this year. I told him to save all the gifts i'm entitled too for the whole year (so there's valentines day,mom's day, bday, anniv, & xmas) to just one gift and I can only get it on xmas! hehe so i'm looking forward to that and I know he's saving for our wed next year too! so i'm trying not to bug the hell out of him when it comes to spending, unless ofcourse it has something to do w/ diapers, wipes and milk!

A lot had happen over the year. The fact that i gave birth, i nearly died, i found out something big i couldn't believe can happen and I became a mom and though I'm not perfect, i try to be... And everything in my life now is all about Kali... Its just funny when i see people my age having fun and party like crazy... I miss that but I wouldn't trade what happen to me this past year for that... I had my chance and i did good so now i just love being a mom...

Good night everyone! Happy birthday to me :) and ofcourse to Ate pebs too:)

awake and bored so I'm blogging

i fell asleep as i let the lil one go to sleep earlier and now i'm wide awake. I should really hit the bed again but I forgot to check a lot of things online that i'm here in front of my PC.

Anyways, i dreamt about being Home. Its just funny that me and my were arguing. Its like i was never married and I'm just in college/HS that she can make me do things the way she wants it done rather than me doing what I want...

These days, that can never happen. yes she tells me to do this and that and we'd end up arguing because I'm hardheaded and i get so irritated by it. Hey! you cant blame me, i've been married for almost 4 years now... haha Moms! you can never change them... and i love her to death

Oh well, what i want to say is that I really miss home. The event where it took place may not be there when i go visit next year. Unless i go home January w/c is impossible... Nothings been finalize back home yet but if the pen hit that paper w/ one signature, a timer will start and the place where i grew up may soon be built w/ something a lot of people will love. As for us, we're moving far away from all the noise of the city.... I WILL MISS IT ...

I'll turn 27 in a week and 22 years of my life will just be a memory of a pictures or maybe videos. I wish that i could go back and say goodbye to our place before we leave it... Oh yah, i cant say too much details here but if you live in Gensan i think you've heard whats going to happen. Its not final yet but the thought of it happening just makes me sad because I'm here and i cant say goodbye. I have to make priorities thats why i wont go home till before the wedding. Thats reality, unless ofcourse i hit the jackpot w/c is unlikely because I don't buy a ticket!!!haha

oh well, i think i should head back to sleep.... Good night everyone

some thoughts

it was hubby's bday yesterday and all we did was eat out at mac grill for dinner. It was funny, kali cried when the lady sang the italian version of Happy Birthday to bu.... Hay babies, they are just so precious!

I've been trying my luck at PPP for the past 3 days now and still i havent got any! Oh well, i guess i have to stick my face infront of the monitor 24/7 just to get a review... The price of trying to make moolah from writing... Maybe I should just make a book... I have good imagination but it all stops everytime i start writing it down...

We are Bi-Standard, when guys cheat its easy to forget and forgive but when girls cheat, we tend to go Yucky over the situation... But hey to the people who have experience this events in their lives, i think its right for you to feel hurt and betrayed even if this is your mom/dad/grandpa/grandma or just plain your husband... I just hope it will never happen to me, with Gods guidance and help we'll do just fine...

and hey! when GUILT eats you up, its just funny because karma happens and on the years you've fooled your family, you deserve every inch of guilt you feel... and we dont feel sorry for it...

is WaMu filing for bankruptcy too???

Okay hubby told me to take out my money and Kali's off from wamu since they are prolly the next big bank that will file for bankruptcy soon. We've seen how the wall st. reacted w/ what happen to Merrill-Lynch (who's lucky to found B of A to buy them out for 50B) and Lehman Brothers. Now is Wamu gonna be the next? I don't millions let alone tens of thousands of dollars there but what i have there is something I try to save and Kali's savings (who happens to be way more than what I have) and if this is true, I don't want to lose those money.

I am a fan of Wamu, they never gave me headaches like B of A but it seems to me that B of A is the solid one (ofcourse they are, with all their fees that they are asking right?!). So Anyway, i'm wondering if the bank will tell me if they are in trouble coz I want our money and I don't want to lose this because the stupid economy is down.

If they just end the war and focus put the money to our economy, maybe just maybe this wouldn't have happen right?! Haayyyy now it makes me wonder how the next president will solve this. This gov't will pass a lot of prob to the next leader... I hope he's ready for it!

Birth Control PILL

if you have a friend who wants to get b.c. Pills! tell them to stay away from YAZ. MY ob said i'm the 5th patient who got pregnant w/ that pills... They should take it away from the Pharmacy! You take pills to prevent from getting pregnant. Ofcourse babies are blessings but when you dont plan it, it will really hit you off guard... I still cant imagine how i'm able to take care of a baby and a toddler next year but i have faith in God so i'll put everything in his hands... Hopefully Baby #2 wont be as hard as baby #1 (who happens to be spoiled!hehe oh well i have few months before my attention gets divided)...

SO dont take YAZ...take something else... THe TV ads are a bull!!!!

having a hubby who's a chargers fan

it hurts to see when your team is being cheated. 2 plays were taken away from them by the stupid ref. I wonder how much did the broncos pay him just to give the game away to the broncos! Who ever watch it esp. san diegan will trully say that we won this game.... And what about the broncos fans and players?! they are mocking the chargers like they deserve the win when they knew by heart that WE HAD IT... stupid ref! NFL is dirty... tsk tsk

crying

my god i was reading something on my email and i just cant stop crying. Then i was chatting w/ a friend discussing some things about life, and i was crying... man this hormones is killing me, i'm just so emotional wreck i swear!!!! Oh well, who can blame me when i'm 10 weeks pregnant right?!

so i will blog here

I'm thinking of leaving my multiply as my site for pictures and start blogging here or i can always copy paste this one there too. Anyways, I discover something fishy the other day that i told my cousins about. Now the issue became big that people are mad and hurt...

I ask my cousins if it was wrong of me to warn them about it but they said i cared thats why i said something. Oh well, it wasn't my fault. Here's the odd thing too, WTH did that account add me for if they didnt want to get in trouble... Such idiots but i think "he" think we're the idiot one thats why he sent the invites...

Like rubbing insult to injury so NOW, everyone is reacting. THis fool should stop and i think "SHE" should wake up because people around her love her but that fool will always be a pest in her life...

1st pocketbook i've ever read

Do you remember the very first pocketbook you've ever read? I do. It was the 1st book publish for SWEET DREAMS by Barbara Conklin called P.S. I love you. I remember borrowing this book from my cousin who happens to collect sweet dreams and this one was publish on the same year I was born.

I remember reading this 182pages book for 3 days and i was crying like crazy when i finish it...But anyways, this book means a lot to me since this one made me love reading so i decided to look it up online and buy it... I couldn't find it on ebay w/c is weird since you find everything there but i didnt lose hope i tried amazon. I found it and read it again! cute book, and what can i say, i cried again..haha

posted: Aug 17, '08 8:04 PM
from: multiply account

the ODDS

When you read literarture of some meds it says that there are 1 out of 1000 people show reaction to this and that. And how could a 99% be really effective when there's 1% possibility that things will get screwed!?

When you not plan something, things happen and it just makes you question how you screwed up when all along you followed the instruction/direction and you never miss a single pill.

Now i'm 1 out of the 1000. You'll get what i'm talking about.

posted: Aug 23, '08 10:51 PM
from: multiply account

I wanna say THANK YOU

to Ate Raquel and Kuya Peewee for Kali's Maclaren Parasol. Since i couldn't buy it here in US, they were kind enough to buy it for me in UK... Thank you guys! I don't have to worry about the sunlight hitting her face/eyes! Lets jus hope she wont break it!hehe

posted: Aug 29, '08 1:53 AM
from: multiply account

BER

in the Philippines, XMAS season starts when month of BER begins. You can hear christmas song on the FM station. You can see department stores beginning to put out the colors of XMAS. If you ask me, XMAS is just superb back home. That's what I miss the most. Even If back then I rarely go shopping for the season, still seeing the spirit of christmas makes my heart just swell up w/ hapiness...

I miss my home even when I made a home here in the US already, its just different... This would be my 5th christmas away from HOME. But things would be different this year, Kali will be able to open her own gifts and with a lil one on the bun, my family is getting bigger.

Atleast i have something to look forward next year. I will finally be able to celebrate it back home. 2009 wait for me. And maybe then my family will be finally complete, we'll finally have that complete family picture we've been yearning for all these years.

To those back home, enjoy the 4 month celebration of xmas. Ours doesnt come till after thanksgiving but hey it isn't too early for me to start listening to xmas songs... Heck! i'm filipino, i could have my tradition!:)

posted:Sep 3, '08 11:18 AM
from: Multiply account

update and carseat issue

When Kali turns 1, I need to change her carseat to the front facing one. The one she got right now is up to 30lbs but i doubt i'll use it for her after she turns one coz she gets bored on it now and I think it's about time for me to go back and seat on the front seat whenever hubby and I go to places. Yes! I've been sitting on the backseat since i had kali coz i keep her company and i make sure that she's not choking or anything.

Not that i put anything hazzardous near her, its just that i got use to it because when i got out from the hospital when i gave birth, the nurse told me to sit at the back w/ the baby. Though my mom usually sit besides Kali when she's with us coz she doesn't like riding in front, still most of the time, i am right next to kali...

Well I'll prolly have 5 months after kali's 1st bday to enjoy sitting in front then I'll prolly sit next to them again after that... Oh well, we will need a bigger car, 2010 just wait! Things happen when you least expect it... Well God have better plans for us :) so I have to be thankful for the blessings...

Anyways, i've been browsing for some convertible car seats... Read review from consumer report. Britax got the #1 review just like the Chicco KeyFit infant carseat... So now, i know what I need. I'm just lucky that my F-i-L promise to get us this, just like he bought Kali's carseat... So i don't really have to worry about it, but I can only purchase it online... Since they don't really have it on the store unless ofcourse I'll settle for something less...

It's quite pricey but we're talking about safety right?! and I cant thank enough our Accord for being reliable all this time... No wonder my hubby's family loves HONDA... My chicco however will be retiring for more or less 6 months then I have to use it again... Thank God i take care of Kali's stuff, most of her stuff looks brand new still and the fact that i didnt give anything away, I can use it again!!!!

Well, tomorrows the big day. I finally got that appointment i've been waiting for. After over 2 weeks of waiting, i can finally see the doctor. Hopefully i'll find out the exact date of the due date tomorrow.... Hayyy I just hate the health care here in US... I wish whoever wins in the upcoming election have plans to improve the health care here.... I may not be able to vote but hopefully before this year ends, i can fully pledge to be a citizen of this country... (i hope hope and hope!)

posted: Sep 8, '08 10:55 PM
from: multiply account.

feeling sick

I think I ate a lot today and i just feel sick. I normally eat a lot but i havent felt like this... I'm drinking gatorade coz i was craving for something sweet and I have a choice bet. this and arizona iced tea w/c i cant really take since it has gensing...

I just finish watching the VMA's, it would have been cool if Britney performed instead of that 4 sentence she just said... But I'd say she's looking good. Can't believe she pull it off in less than a year. I hope she'll never have a breakdown again


dated: Sep 7, '08 11:32 PM
from: Multiply account

nagging

I grew up in an enviroment where people nag each other. I said when i grew up i will not follow such path but I'm wrong. How you brought up in this world plays a big part of who you are. I still hate nagging but I do it. And I sure want to stop that way Kali won't have such example.

But it is hard not to nag when your partner in life is such a pain in the butt. He hates certain things and tells me what is it but can he even ask himself what are the stuff that he does wrong too???

My husband and I are 3 years apart. I am older. It means that a big part of me adjust to everything. If you want to make your marriage work, you compromise but sometimes the one who's older tend to do more compromise and understanding than the younger ones. And most of the time i just say, SUCK IT UP, you choose this life!

I know i am and will never be the easiest person to deal with. I have hurt so many people in my life and most of it are the ones I know wont leave myside no matter what. But sometimes we had to hurt them to be able to let them know we're now grown up and we have our own life to deal w/ and they as a guidance to us can't decide on our own but I guess everybody have a problems w/ letting go.

Having a great support system helps too! It sure feels great when you have good people around you but sometimes you pretend everything is perfect.

My life is beyond perfect but I choose this. Sometimes I'm in the verge of breaking down and say F*ck off! but I have to stop for a moment and look at my angel face daughter and says, LIFE will be good for you my princess...

anyways, i'm out... :)

when u realize u are alone

When you realize you are alone, it feels like a knife had stab you in your heart and then you stop and stare at the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in your entire life, your child.

I have Kali, i know that for sure. And I need to feel brave and strong even when I feel like i'm tired and hurting.

The irony of it all, i don't even know where to begin. i'm not materialistic, yes i admit i like nice stuff but I know when I can/can't buy.

just venting out

I guess i am really a bad person. Drama happens even when you don't even know you cause it. I hate drama.

It makes u wonder when you marry someone on how you should handle your life and what will your life become? I am happy, I love my husband and my baby but i just can't seem to please everybody in this lifetime.

When we marry and have kids, isn't it suppose to be your priority is your hubby and kid 1st before anything else? I get confuse coz i often gets to be in the middle that sometimes i know i jeopardize my relationship. I know its stupid but when you know my sit. you'll understand where i'm coming from.

I am really stressed out over some things that i didnt do but apparently hurt someone dear to me. I choose to ignore the problem and go on w/ my life because I ask myself on what i did wrong and i can't come up w/ a single reason.

Maybe choosing not to ask question that i know would cause more drama was wrong and it created more problems to a point of saying that "lets just not see each other coz you keep on hurting me".

I choose not to ask because i know it would put me in the middle of something that i don't want to be on. I said something when i know someone in the crowd is associated on someone who "majority" they were saying. I shouldn't have said racist,instead i should have said stereotype but i think it will leave her getting hurt and still i am wronged!

I am tired, hubby said to apologize but not to cry. I'm a cry baby. I have been apologizing in my entire existence because they know they can hurt me when they want to. So how can i apologize w/o crying and knowing for a fact that i did nothing wrong.

My dad drives faster than my hubby and yet i hear no complain. HA! why is it that when it comes to hubby, the blood just boils!? i don't understand that. I'm married. I am for 3 and half years now. I know i hurt them when i got married w/o them to witness it but its a long time ago and i think we should just get over that and go on w/ our lives and not bring it back all the time.

I need to be accepted as a married person. I respect you and you know that but i am an easy target to blame and stress on yet i don't think that's fair for me. I'm tired. If my relationship falls apart know that one way or the other, this drama is PART OF THE REASON why!

Its funny, i didn't even do anything yet I get to suffer.... It would have been a great vacay but too much drama!thank god i have Kali...

i hate drama1

i've been stressed out because i don't like what going on w/ my body. I get paranoid that one day i'd wake up and my time is clicking. I need to be strong for Kali. You wouldn't want to miss out your kid growing up right?! I try not to abuse myself. Heck! i quit all bad habits (no alcohol, no drugs [w/c i never tried], and no cigarettes [mind you i only smoke when i'm drunk and this was way back in college])but i haven't quit sleeping late.Even if I want to i cant so its just so hard...

Anyways, i hate it when people do drama and makes you feel bad. I know i ain't perfect but i have a lot more stuff to stress about other than adding more to it. If i'm so insensitive i shouldn't be feeling bad/sorry or even trying to figure something out in helping a certain person. So now i tell you I HATE DRAMA...

I guess having your phone run out of battery is sometimes a good solution on not to hear drama... sorry i'm just venting. I cant write this stuff over at my multiply, can I?!

crazy so. cali!

ok the weather is getting crazy here in the southland... Its just reminding us that global warming is happening and not only we have the earthquakes here, apparently WE HAVE TORNADO's TOO!!! crazy... It happen about 15 min away from where we live. Just off at march airforce base... Crazy if you ask me.... My friends place got rained w/ hail (as big as marbles) and she sent me video and pix of it... I'll upload it when i get a chance... But anyways, weather forecast says it could happen again tomorrow. Hopefully NO TORNADO!! jeezuzzzz... I'm scared of that...

i need to have a transfusioin

My doc called and told me that they got my blood test and everything is low. I wasn't surprise but she told me to go to ER and get a transfusion w/c I don't want to do... HECK i havent had transfusion in a long time 4.5years to be exact and i dont think i'll ever get one soon...so now i'm being refered to a hematologist...so we'll see

BF at 75

We only see or hear this in Hollywood actually but when its someone in your family that's dating at the age of 75, its just so weird... I can totally understand when your mom totally disagree w/ the situation but I won't say anything because she's not my mom and if its my mom, well I will totally give her silent treatment for the longest time and if you know me, you'd know i can do that...

Some says to just support "her" w/ this because she's old and she wont have that much time to live but if my mom doesn't feel right about this so she's entitled to feel that way and you shouldn't rub it on her face because she doesnt like the SITUATION...

Piece of advice though, Tell your siblings that way they know that "she" is acting like a teenager when "she" is suppose to act like her age... And tell them about her being U-F to some people they know too... If its my mom, i will definitely not tolerate it...oh well, i'm lucky because it isn't her:):)

anyways, been a while since i posted something here... I'll try to use this more often now that the multiply is being flooded by mi familia and I don't want them to read my thoughts, do I???hehe

so ttfn gotta hit the bed!:)nyty nyt!

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