ayPad LiPad

i can't believe i never bought an kindle or sony e-reader before. I mean where was i? ebooks are the best but I will still buy some books in hard copy particularly in hardbound to collect 'em but not the ones that i just read in one night and end up in the chest waiting to be shipped out to gensan, unless ofcourse I'll make myself a library in this house... Who knows!

I love my iPad, i don't particular go online and browse there though every now and then i go on facebook and twitter coz i still love the convinience of my lappy tappy, my cool nettop and our old but reliable (esp. on my magicjack) pc.... And aside from my special edition u2 iPod classic and nik's 3g iPhone, ayPad LiPad is my first MAC though its not really considered as MAC, you know what i mean... i just love love love it! Well because i read books and now, i can just download free books and never run out of things to read.

And ofcourse my Kids loves it, they want to play w/ it though i'm kinda "maarte" right now coz i still havent got a case for it yet. Yes i know i should have bought but man it cost as $650++ for that thing, so i gotta take it easy you know:)

I want an iPhone 4 but im asking myself why? i wouldn't really play w/ it much since i have this mr. LiPad w/ me now, so whats the use of getting an iphone? one thing i can say, my epix is starting to be retarded but its doin its job and I don't really text/call much here in US.

Anyway, i decided to go back to my oldschool site (multiply, and this, still debating about friendster lol) and start writing again, and hoping that it will get me back my sanity and just write whatever i think. And try hard to post least on FB. That site, gets you in trouble for sure....

Ok... gotta hit the sack, its almost 2am here.... nyt nyt world!:)

bitterness

For as long as i can remember, I have done nothing but to follow orders and please them. It felt like as I grow up, i've age 10 years or so just to be the responsible person they want me to be but then again. I cant always please them...

I've listen, i said what i thing but they have ways of twisting things around. When i give, i don't expect to have something in return. Though they say they don't do that, but why do they make me feel that they are counting the things i've receive fr. them??

I'm so tired of it. I finally said, F* it, ill go on isolation fr. them, delete "." in facebook and move forward and after venting out, pretend nothing happened and move on. But like i said, "." has a way to make you feel crappy about yourself.

if you say sorry. say sorry period. Don't do things like make the certain person feel bad about herself because I'm telling its getting old and i'm sick and tired of it. They put the word "bitterness" in my world. They introduced me to it. so why cant they just say sorry, admit they were wrong and that's it. Stop making me feel bad because I'm trying to ignore feeling bad anymore....

They still don't get it. I guess that's how it is when you've been taken for granted since you're there always for them they think that whatever crappy things they do to you, you'll always be there. Enough is enough...

I'm sorry God if i'm being so hard and I know I'm no angel but please understand that I hurt inside and just let me heal in my own time... And I hope and pray the trend will stop from now on...

peace... I'm out :)

Let it happen God.

i'm worried over something. I wish i have control over it but i don't. I don't know whats gonna happen to it but i'm hoping that we get a response ASAP. I wish things arent that complicated. I love my family, they mean so much to me but there are things that we dont have control over and as much as we wanna take over and do something, things aren't that easy... Please God, let there be response soon. Let things move forward ASAP. I want my complete family on the day we renew our vows in front of you.... pls pls pls pls....

i hate i hate i hate

Why do i worry about other peoples problem?! Seriously i'm so tired of it having to think about something that's not even my problem... Hayyy....

addicted to PJ's sandwich!haha

i've been addicted to peanut butter and jelly sandwich for the past 3 weeks or so now. Though there's an outbreak of salmonela on peanut butter, not all brands of PB's were affected so I wasn't that worried and besides, the PBJ's spread had been in our fridge since last year and NO its not expired yet.

Anyways, i check on how much calories i've been taking before i sleep. I eat about 600-700cal (PBJ's sandwich +Milk) Dang! I'll be super fat if i keep this up, not that i eat a lot anyways, its just that i dont get to burn this stuff because I'm mostly sleeping after I eat this. Not right away but still i don't do any activities.

But its hard to fall asleep w/o eating this stuff.Haha its weird how i started liking this all of a sudden...

Anyways, other news. I'll have 10 weeks to go before i pop #2. I have a name in my head, still trying to argue w/ hubby to agree with me like we did with #1. So we'll see.... Hayyy i miss home... I cant wait to go home later this year!!!! first of though, i have to get a passport. Dammit! it would cost me $100 for that. Oh well, i should really get it over with...

well, just updating so g2g... ttfn

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

May 2009 Bring us more luck, love, peace and happiness.... HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I'm 26 weeks!

time flies so fast that i cant believe that i'm almost done w/ my 2nd trimester. I'll be 6 months pregnant next monday, having 13 weeks to go and will enter the 3rd trimester... Wow in 13 weeks i'll have a new baby in my arms... I don't know how kali will take it, i just hope everything will be fine.

I still have lots of things that i need to buy particularly baby's clothes. I am having a boy so most clothes of kali cant be worn by baby #2...Hehe I have a name on my head but still havent decided if whether or not i'm naming him that or what...

Hayyy having a baby is expensive, i'm pretty sure this would be the last. After this i'm having it cut out... If i'm just as healthy and normal like everyone else i wouldn't have to worry about this but i'm not and i know that so I'm taking actions...

I'm planning on putting Kali on the crib after New Years, but im doubtful if she'll sleep there...we'll see... Anyways, its late so gotta go!

i had fun this xmas BUT...

it was lame coz people went to sleep early like 7ish or 8ish?! What a way to celebrate christmas... That's why no matter what, no one can beat xmas in gensan!!!! I miss it... next year, wait for me!!!!

Happy birthday baby jesus!!!!

Belated Merry Xmas everyone!

venting again

I am so pissed at a certain someone right now! I don't care if i don't even talk to him ever in my life besides, I never ask him any favors, he's the one who always ask favors or even ask for pabili! F*ck it... Grrr... and the nerve of hanging up the phone on me! I swear... A kid who's 10 years younger than him even knows what manners is... Grrrrr....

He never do good anyways, he does and its just an act for asking something... HA! 29 years old and yet he doesn't know responsibility... what an ass!

blogging late

I wonder why i always blog late, maybe because this is the only time i have for myself and its quiet...anyways, tomorrows THE DAY... I've been looking forward to this for a long time and my golly, thanks to my hubby for making it possible... I love you bu!

I'm still sick, colds are almost gone but i have an annoying cough, throat is uber itchy and i just pee whenever I cough w/c is really annoying... ANyways, i have to get Kali's stuff ready so we can leave early later so ttfn!!!

4 years married!

We just had our 4th year anniversary yesterday. Though we didnt really do anything special, we attend our friends wedding in San Diego... It was fun but i was starting to get sick so i wasn't really feeling well... OMG! my dress was so short, thank god it was cold, i had to wear my coat the whole time!haha And well, we left Kali w/ my inlaws but we miss her terribly. I guess that's how it is when you have kids, you have fun yet your mind will still be left if they are ok or what...

She was cranky around 8ish according to my SIL and kept saying MAMA and pointing upstairs, she thought i was upstairs being lazy and leaving her to my inlaws...Haha poor kali... I love that munchkin to death i swear...

Anyways, i'm sharing a pic of me and hubby w/ the bride and groom....

its late gotta hit my sack! ttfn!:)

my lil one is 1 now!

And so my baby turned one over the weekend... Hayyy they grow up so fast... I kinda miss the lil one you can carry around w/o worrying about the food you feed them, now however i have hard time feeding this lil munchkin who happens to be uber hyper most of the time...

It almost 230am and i'm up and awake. Why?! coz i had to wash her bottles, HA! motherhood... I've done this a lot of time already so its so not new to me but how i wish i don't have to worry about her bottles...

Which makes me bitter about parents having yaya back in pi... haha how spoiled they are... I was told i don't really need to sterilize her bottles but just to make sure, i do it every night... And now that i change her milk to Next Step, i'm hoping this lil one will grow more....

In 4 months I will have another lil one coming up. It won't be easy handling 2 infants. yes my lil munchkin is still consider infant by then. And well, she'll always be a baby to me too. And i promise myself that just because she and her bro are so close by age, i will make sure that she is still a baby and i'd make both of them my priority...

Anyways, i really need to hit my sack again... so ttfn

problems

sometimes when you have a problem, its better to just keep to yourself than saying it out loud to people that way no one expect more of you. Though most of the time it makes you feel better when you get to share it to friends...

I don't know myself anymore, i'm lost. :(

feeling ugly... just thinking

I've been looking at my old pictures and i cant believe i look like that then. Now i look so plain. I don't even have the urge to fix myself. I brush my hair, put a clip and then tie it in the back... I was never maarte in my life, but since giving birth. I don't even think of myself anymore.

The moment i wake up, i'd be wearing pj's by the end of the day, i'm still wearing pj's.... I'm thinking of going out more but w/ a baby to tag along all the time (well i cant leave her alone at the house)and the gas prices up (good thing its under 2.50 now) i feel that staying at home is better than goin to places...

I miss my old self. I got so much compliment when i went home 2 and half years ago. I never felt so good when i finally felt that i'm being appreciated.... Not that looks matters but hey it does boost out your confidence right?!

I look at my closet, i have tons of clothes but those doesnt even fit me anymore. Those are my pre-baby clothes and though they all look new to me, still even if i try it wont fit me no more... So I'd wait till i'd pop out this second one and hopefully go back to my pre-baby body...

I need new pants and jeans but i'm the kind of person who's practical. I dont want to buy any because i know i wont wear it afterwards but my jeans are basically tight on me and the one and only maternity jeans i have kinda looks funny to me now... And to think this would be my last pregnancy, yes I'm going to get ligation afterward since I don't think my body can handle more than 2 pregnancy or let alone watch 2 babies grows up...

Anyways, the bottom line, i'm feeling ugly. I look haggard. I need rest, i want to eat a lot of food that i cant find here and the whole point to this is that I wanna go home to Gensan even for a month but I cant.

Not just fare wise but other people's experience can make people be negative on things so as long as i'm pregnant. And since i havent done my oath taking yet so no new passport, I cant go home... Next year is just a year away but heck its too long, i'm afraid i'd look 10 years older by then... No i'm not vain but i'm just stating facts here... So hopefully i'll find peace with myself and start caring about how i look like.... Maybe that will happen on of these days...

Elections Over, Thank God!

no more bickering from each parties!

So now that Obama won [Congrats Sen. Obama & Sen. Biden], we'll see where he leads this country... Will he able to save us from this recession or are we going there?! Lets hope and pray he'll do great, besides the guy deserve this.... He has a lot to prove a lot so where do this CHANGE leads us?!

Congrats to Sen. McCain, that speech was great!!!! that's how all losers should be, and whats up w/ the crowd in Phoenix?!

i'm no expert on politics, besides I hate it but this election was historical. First African-American President eh?! tsk tsk lets just hope it wont create chaos, besides there are still racist in this country...

stressful Life

i am 27 and i should not be getting stress but I am so stress that i might blow into pieces. I swear i hate drama but people seems to love drama but heck I HATE it... and i just cant break down because i have a lil gril w/ me... Damn this life.

Happy Halloween!

Today is my baby's first halloween. We're gonna go out there and do trick or treat for the first time. I'm so excited and I hope my lil princess will enjoy this. Next year there'll be two babies in the house, I plan to go to the Philippines right after halloween for our wedding preparation but I want my lil boy to experience his first halloween here too just like his ate.

I've started listening to xmas songs right when BER started, Hey! i'm from pi and they celebrate xmas that long over there so I dont care what the neighbor says besides they rarely sees us out anyway. Its either we're inside the house or we're out somewhere riding a car...

I still want to go home for New Years but since I just passed my citizenship test, I don't know when I'll have my oath taking to be able to get my passport. NO passport, No chance of going home right?! Oh well... There's always next year but I sorry the desire is still in my heart...

My lil girl have 6 teeth now, im so proud of her! I just want to keep hugging her but she's wiggly and she just want to be left walking around the room w/c is kinda hard for me coz i have to follow her to the bathroom most of the time, she likes that place for some reason...

The baby is growing up so fast but she loves mommy so much, she'll look for me all the time and it just makes me feel so proud that eventhough i am having a hard time raising her (because she's malikot) i'm proud that almost from the moment she was born it was me who watched, fed and bathe her... Except for those times when my inlaws and mom are here to watch her for me but she sleeps with me at the end of the day and just having a lil baby go to your side and look for your heat makes your heart grow big... I love you princess!!!

i wanna go home

i so wanna go home but i cant afford it, its too damn expensive and its breaking my heart because my desire to go home is so big yet i cant go home because it will be selfish of me to insist when we dont have moolah!

venting on why i cant go home

I wanted to go this year after christmas and before the new years. I don't know why but my urge to go home is something i cant deny. Its hard I swear but i don't want to be selfish... For the first time too that i only thought of me and Kali. When i used to always say that if i go home, Nik will have to come to me... I don't know whats going on. Maybe I need a break. A breather from being a mom and pregnant at the same time. Ofcourse its not going to be like the way it ways 2 years ago that I can do whatever i want, this time, i'm pregnant. But hey! all i wanted to do is rest for atleast 3 weeks and eat all the food i've been missing. maybe then i'll gain weight since i have problems on gaining weight on this pregnancy...

But we are talking about a $2500 fare here. I don't want Nik to worry about having too much debt, i swear the less we owe the better and the more we save besides we will have our wedding next year but i don't know. I just really want to go home...

Reality sucks... We can never have it all and I love my husband to burden him on this so i'll just vent out here and hopefully forget about this idea and move on... Besides my hubby got a really nice present for xmas and i just cant wait to open it though for now i'll vent...

Ever thought of Lap-Band Surgery??

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