yes hubby took the CO test, he passed the 1st one and doing the 2nd one at the moment. I should be happy and thankful that he passed the 1st test but i'm not. This is pure honesty. I don't know what i'll do if he'll get a call for a training. That would be 4 mos away from me coz training are usually held in Stockton, CA and for one the job is in chula vista, CA (san diego area) so that means we'll be apart. I don't know if he ever think of the consequences when he applied for this one in the first place. Yes they make a lot of money but the job is really dangerous and just thinking about it makes me both sad and mad. I hate it. Now, i'm thinking of the "what if's" and i still don't know the conclusion of this. I want him to stay in school, finish the damn nursing and graduate and not get a job that would make him a lot of money that involves danger. Yes, i should be proud but from the very start he knows what i think but still he didnt listen. I should be honest to myself so i'm not gonna pretend to be happy but i'll be civil about this.
in case he gets the job, i will not spend a single cent he will make. I don't care, this is not how i want it to be. I will for one live my own life from that moment on. I will do what i want, doesnt matter if it will involve him or not. I dont care, i dont want to care anymore. I swear this marriage will suffer because of that decision and for one, i could be blame but hey! i told him from the very start that i'm not expecting too much from him. He will totally drive me away w/ this. I guess you can say i'm just being honest to myself even though i know i'm being selfish but who cares right? maybe its good that we dont have kids yet. I'm even thinking of leaving this life and go back home. Atleast over there, i am happy. I'm not saying i'm not happy but i have friends there and i know they care.
i know he's doing this for me but this is not what i want. I don't want him to be away. What's the point of being married if you live far apart right? that's messed up. besides, i followed him here in southern cali and left bay area even when i didnt want to.
hayyyy... still sick, i'm stressing and my period just started. This day is just soooooooo i don't know.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
About Me
- Nynka
- i'm a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend and a mom. Describing myself aint easy but if you're close to me, you know me best. I love life and i'm thankful that i've been blessed. I'm taking baby steps in reaching my dreams and goals but right now i'm busy being a wife and a mom to the 2 toddlers whom i love more than myself. Married for almost 7 years now to loving and adorable husband.
Our Partners
Nynka, you have to collect yourself. As a wife, you should be supporting your husband eventhough your opinions go differently. I'm not much of a relationship person but I think once you're in a marriage, things should be taken more seriously.
ReplyDeletei have told him my stand. he wouldn't listen. I dont care what kind of job he has as long as he wont put himself in danger but he wants to be tough and wouldn't listen to me. I'm happy he passed but i'm not excited. I don't know karen, its hard... before we even got married i told him my stand on this kind of things, he said he wont do any of it, now that we're here maybe he think i will give in coz i wont have a way out anyways but i still feel the same way. he should have known better. but i'm keeping my silence, i write it here, i cry it to my friend but i dont think its fair.
ReplyDeleteHi Nynka! I wish I can help you. I know how you feel because I've gone thru it. When I got married, the first year was really challenging because B was always out of the country and most of the time, I'd be left alone. It's really depressing but yes, it takes 2 to tango.
ReplyDeleteI hope your hubby realizes how important your opinion is about his decision. It may take a while but they do get there. GL!
thanks antz... i really hope he will... its hard being a wife! seriously....
ReplyDeleteit is hard, it's no walk in the park.
ReplyDeletei'm not complaining being married though, i love being married but things like this just stress me out. it takes a while before my hubby will understand why i feel like this.... i just really hope he will see the light of these other than expecting me to see it.
ReplyDelete